Vacant Chapter 9 Love

The linguistic communication are ringing in my ears I love you.It occurs to me I may have misheard. Its the only possible explanation.So, youre okay? Dont listen to those girlfriends, Emily. Ill just embark those three little words arent hanging in the air heedless of whether they were actually said.Ethan, did you hear what I just said?What do I say? I have no idea how to approach this, so I just stare at her wide-eyed.After a some moments, I feel warmth creeping up my thigh and relieve oneself its Emilys hand. At first, its an attempt to get my attention, and as her hand ascends, I realize the intent is not so innocent.We have to go. Its time to go, I say, stilted, similar Rain Man talking about his Kmart underwear.I make out the steering wheel for dear life sentence because if I dont, the car and my life will go careening into the abyss. Ive spent all this time convincing myself that Emily and I could never be anything entirely friends. Knowing that she may feel the a foresaid(prenominal) about me as I feel about her will modify things, and I suddenly feel trapped.Its so quiet as we drive, that I hear a small plinking that would go unnoticed otherwise, but as I near the duplex, the sound the car is making increases. I presently wonder if its because the plink is getting worse or the quiet is just so intense. I make a mental note to find the stock certificate of the plinking before putting too many more miles on the car.I should be thinking about the woman sitting next to me and her new declaration instead of small pings, but Im not I buttockst.If I do no.I cant think.Im not even sure how I get here, but Im sitting in the middle of my bed, having an argument with myself.Its no surprise that Im winning.She told you she loves you.She says she loves to cook. She loves lots of things.Shes in there and youre in here.You really exact to clean the ceiling fan blades.I cant help but throw up my eyes at myself.When I finally exit my room, the apartm ent is isolated and quiet. Emily is asleep on the couch with a tight grip on the blankets. Little does she know shes gripping at my heart the same way.The notebook on the side table catches my eye, and I cant help but snoop. As I near it, I hear there are several(prenominal) wads of paper strewn across the floor discarded because they werent perfect. The top piece, hush clinging to life in its spiral bindings, is flawless.Dear Ethan Sitting down to spare this, Ive never felt more like a young girl than I do right now. For the past two years, Ive looked at you both day in hopes that someday youd feel for me, what I feel for you. precisely now I see that we perceive different things regarding our relationship. Maybe it could be classified on my part as hero worship, but Id like to think Im smarter than that. I think I know the difference amongst infatuation and love.I know there is a difference in our ages, but who cares? My heart has no idea how old your heart is. I just kn ow that if I dont tell you, it will fester inner me, and Ill die a slow painful death. Ive only ever love my mom and never really knew what it was like to care for another psyche until I met you.I didnt fall in love with you that first day, but after many months of learning to appreciate your care and concern, I could see how miscellanea your soul your whole being is. Thats when I knew another kind of love existed. It isnt the type of love between family members, or a crush, but a true love that is unconditional and lasting, a love that I can no longer hide.I know you probably dont indemnification these feelings, but I couldnt go another second without you knowing. I bring in if it makes you uncomfortable, and Ill find another place to live if you feel like we can no longer be friends.Love always,EmilyI tightly handle the notebook page in my hand.How can she do this to me?Doesnt she know what shes do?No its not right.Not now, and without any further thoughts, Im out the door .